Tag Archives: vice presidential debate

Palin-Biden Vice Presidential Debate: My Two Cents

This country is ready…more than ready…for a female vice president.  We are more than ready for a woman to sit in the number two seat of this country’s governing body…BUT NOT SARAH PALIN.

In case you missed it last night, here’s a truncated re-cap on the first (and only) vice presidential candidates debate:

Commentator Gwen Ifil: Who is responsible for this country’s mortgage lending debacle?

Palin: Those greedy, bastard lenders!  This is not, in any way, the American people’s fault.  “Joe Six Pack”  needs to be able to pay his bills and mortgage and those vultures in the home loan lending industry have ruined that for him.  But, Gwen, let’s talk about energy.

Biden: Wall street.  They proved they couldn’t regulate themselves.  So much for McCain’s deregulation plan for Wall Street.

Ifil: What do you think needs to be done about taxes?

Biden: “The middle class is the work engine of this country.”  We need to give tax cuts to 95% of the US population — those families making less than $150k per year.

Palin: I think we all know where John McCain stands on this issue:  we need to give more money to big business and hope that a few dollars here and there trickles down to Joe Six Pack.  Now, let’s talk about energy…You know in Alasaka where I’m a kick-ass hockey mom and a woman all the big fuel companies love to hate (wait…I’m mean…hate to love…I mean…oh, let’s just talk about energy…)

Ifil: What about health care?  How do each of your tickets propose to fix the nightmare called our health care insurance industry?

Palin: John wants to give families the choice by dangling an insufficient $5k stipened for each family for the purchase of their own insurance plan.

Biden: Yeah, Sarah…that’s a bullshit plan, and you know it.  John wants to TAX the premiums of health insurance plans provided to families by their employers.  Then he wants to TAKE AWAY the health insurance plans that, on average, cost about $12k, and tell families they can replace those with the meager $5k credit Hockey Mom Palin spoke of.

Palin: Um…Gwen?  Can we talk about energy?  Because you know, up there in Alaska…

Ifil: All right, let’s talk about energy.  What would each of you propose to do about converting to clean sources of energy and addressing the problem of climate change and global warming?

Palin: Oh, well, I’m so glad you asked that Gwen…You know this whole “global warming thing” can be explained by a lot of things…cyclical changes in the earth’s temperature…other natural causes…maybe a little human action here and there…but regardless, we need to “clean up this planet.”  We need to reduce emissions and become “energy independent.”  We need to drill the hell out of Alaska, and every other foreseeable location we own.  Drill, drill drill…(big cheerleader smile into the camera)

Biden: Oh…jeeze!  Can someone cut those lights off of Palin?  Her lip gloss is blinding me!
Anyway, let’s not be mistaken:  GLOBAL WARMING IS A MAN-MADE PROBLEM.  We need to understand the cause before we can come up with a solution.  Like wind and solar energy resources, hydrocarbons and nuclear energy sources.

Ifil: What about same sex partner benefits?

Biden: Yes.  They deserve the same civil rights as provided to any committed couple and according to the bill of rights.

Palin: If you think I’m not tolerant…well, you’ve got another thing comin’!  Yes, a gay man or woman should be able to visit his/her partner in the hospital!  But let’s get down to the real issue, Gwen:  AND LET ME BE CLEAR:  I DO NOT SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE.  NO WAY, NO HOW…

Ifil: Well, it looks like you may actually agree on something.  Is that correct?

Biden: Yeah, I think so.

Palin: Oh…um…the teleprompter I’m obviously reading off of doesn’t cover this question…um…can we just talk about energy?

Ifil: What about Iraq?

Biden: We need to set a date, get the hell out of there, and go take care of Afghanistan.

Palin: The surge worked.  We don’t need a time line.  We need to stick it out ’til the Iraqi government can govern it’s own people…even if that takes until Armageddon…
Now you know, Gwen, Iraq is an important resource for energy…

Okay, I’ve gone far enough…the thing is, there are so many women out there: Condoleeza Rice, Hilary Clinton, Nancy Polosi…who would make fantastic Commanders in Chief.  I am pro woman… break the glass ceiling into bits…wear that power suit like it’s goin’ outta style, girlfriend…

But I DON’T think Palin’s the one.

And, let’s face it:  at John McCain’s age, we NEED to be thinking about whether or not his running mate is suitable for stepping in to run this country at a moment’s notice.  And Sarah’s not ready for it.  As far as I can tell, performing as Commander in Chief requires a heck of a lot more than being able to deliver pre-written messages in a time of controversy with an immobile smile pasted on one’s face.  (Ok, I know we could get into past presidents who very much DID act as a puppet for others…but I’ll tackle that one some other time)

End of story, and in my opinion, Joe Biden would be a heck of a lot more prepared to step in as President of the United States, should it ever come to that.  Career politician or not, he’s just more polished, maintains a better command of the issues, sticks to the topic at hand, and has a greater wealth of knowledge of executive-level government.

I obviously had a bit of fun with their debate banter.  What did YOU think of the debate???

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